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This mystical incantation washed all the way from Mother Germany – don’t be a naai. And you will all take care to listen.

Translated, it means don’t be a fucker.

One of my favourite tweeters is Beyonka Fierce. She says things that would get you shunned by society for admitting that it made you laugh. She would probably be fired from her job if her employers knew that she was tweeting the things she does. Last year she killed herself and rose up from the ashes to bless us with her quality tweets. Check it out, if you dare – @beyonka_fierce

Maybe I should explain before I go on. My dear friend Meryem, from Germany (so she speaks German) was in South Africa last year and went away for an end of year camp. She came back filled with energy and wisdom, as one of the rules for the group was, put simply, “don’t be a naai”.

Ok, back to Beyonka. She’s the most offensive person I follow on Twitter, and with good reason. I mentioned her previously here, but “life is trash” need particular attention. In 2013 she staged her own death and then came back to Twitter a week or so later (This is the level of sanity I am dealing with here).

Her adage “Life is trash” resonates over generations to remind us to never get our hopes up. This is such an inspirational saying that I carry it around in my heart wherever I go. Yes, you read right – never get our hopes up.

My body has recently descended to the depths of pudginess. It’s quite painful to live through as I am a former skinny bitch (the scientific term) and now that I am in that rare breed known as “the curvaceous male”, I feel the pressure from society to conform. And boy have I conformed to these pants! A friend, in a moment of brilliant obviousness, told me that I should gym. Because of course that never crossed my mind. She said that I might meet a sexy trainer. I told her with my luck, I’d probably convert him to the “life is trash” movement, fall in love and we’d just end up getting fat together. Happily ever fatter.

There is so much happening in the world – people are literally being killed daily. So why make it worse by being an asshole? Why be a naai? Sometimes when things go bad, I’ll look up at the sky and say to God, “Hey G, whats your problem? Why wont you work with me here and allow me to be great?” Then I remember that life is trash and that I shouldn’t be surprised. Also, the guy fixing the light fixture above me in the office usually looks down from his ladder and says, “Please stop calling me God or I’ll have to report you to HR… again”

Life is trash reminds us to always stay grounded – that as good as things may be, there might always be a turn, a switch, a spanner in your works. In which case, if you had been flying the “life is trash” motto, you would never be surprised when something happens.

So yes, you might think life is trash, but it’s really great if you choose to see it that way. But there’s no exception on the other rule – don’t ever be a naai.

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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Comments on: "Don’t be a naai/ Life is trash" (1)

  1. Reblogged this on Azizzar Says… and commented:
    Because JawOnFloor is just the funniest, wisest and most beautiful curvaceous male you will come across

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