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How to Blog

 

Really creative title for a creative writer, right? But that’s all it is though.

Eugene Mathews at http://thestuddedroseblog.blogspot.com posted a blog this year about how to tweet. I loved it as it was so informative, fun and funny. You can find it here http://thestuddedroseblog.blogspot.com/2011/08/emti-eugene-mathews-twitter.html

So I aim to try the same with this medium, minus the fun and funny and double the deprecation.

I have been called many things in my illustrious lifetime: bitch, domestic goddess, Alejandro, gardener and Martha, amongst others. But none has been as offensive as that of “blogger”. However, as is usually my lot in life, I accept and embrace it.

This post is dedicated to my muscular friend Lauren and her blog http://coffeebrokemyheart.wordpress.com and a conversation we had about her interest in getting it off the ground. So hopefully this helps and gives you tips to improve.

 

Where to start? The start, obviously. Title. Make it catchy and have it encapsulate what it is you’re doing. If not, then make it fun and/or vague. You can’t attract everyone and while you should want to get everyone to read, those who do must want to be there and enjoy the ride.  My initials are “JAW” and it rhymes with “floor” and I aim to say things that would shock and entice.  That’s all.

You wouldn’t know what http://boguslavskysisters.com is all about until you visit the site. The message is about fashion and do they do it well! [Thanks to @catwil for this tip! Nice article on nail trends http://www.boguslavskysisters.com/nail-art-tips-steps-perfect-nails/ ]

 

When? Now. If you are thinking about it, then you want to do it. The time is now.

 

What about? Anything, really. Check my archives: I have gone through so many incarnations that I fear a plagiarism lawsuit from myself is imminent. I have worked my way through my time as a relationship expert and the wife of Jacob Zuma (which are surprisingly not related), poetry, heartbreak, love, life, social issues, politics, Lady Gaga, religion and so much more; and so much more to come. Find something you like and find a way in.

How? Funny, informative, sarcastic, colourful, eloquent, oblique. Just never boring. It’s like my grandma always says: “You got’s to do you, boo!”

Everyone is unique and special. Or boring, as I call it. If you want to complain and rant, do it. If you want to talk about fashion, go ahead. Your children and motherhood? Fine, if you must. But whatever it is must be about YOU.

However, another “but” – you are not famous. And even if you were, no one would give two shits about your personal diary being broadcast to pretty much the world.

So how are you making connections? If social media is a conversation, think of blogging as the loud speaker, or even the billboard which gets your point across. This whole blogging thing is like fishing in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. You know there’s life out there, but you don’t know what the hell will bite.

I found this out when a follower from Los Angeles sent me a mail to tell me he enjoyed my Lady Gaga posts. That felt really kinda awesomely cool and I may have blushed a wee little bit like a Brit. [If you are reading this, what’s up Drizzy? Long time]

 

More practically, keep paragraphs short. People in my inner circle are often reading from a mobile device and this makes it so much easier.  I tend to (try to) stick to a 500 word maximum (which has already been reached on this very post. D’oh!). Although on a rant day, characters cease to exist. And short stories tend to be 1,000 words, maximum.

Obviously spelling and grammar are important. Sentences that are punctually deficient are exhausting to read (but fun to write, no?). Go on and think of yourself as an expert. You may not be, but people appreciate the confidence you have. Stand up!

People are reading plenty of things on the web. So much info is coming your way all the time, might as well make it good.  Now go Floor Jawers, blog away!

 

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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Porn Lady Gaga Sex Religion Jesus…

Is what one needs to type in the subject line of a blog to get to the top on Google. It must have worked if you are reading this, right?

Like all bad blog posts, this got me thinking. This time about validation. I won’t even lie, it feels damn good to be noticed and validated. Unfortunately, people often confuse the good with the bad. Hence all the bad blogs out there, probably this one included.  You can say what you want, but getting a whole lot of hits online is way better than getting physical hits. And that’s the damn truth.

This makes sense when we consider the cyber age, and how many people are living their lives online. The online media game has changed the way we live and communicate. Seems like it has also changed the way we evaluate our lives. Who really has 1,000 friends? Certainly not the narcissists on Facebook who claim to have as many “friends” as this. And no one refers to other people as followers (I remember growing up and being told to lead not follow, goddammit)

Now I am the first to admit that I am a chronic online addict. I love social media, and since I started this blog, I love posting and look forward to getting comments, likes and follows. It’s an awesome feeling. But where would we go if we did not get this validation from others? That’s right, older men. I think it’s time we all have a good think about why we are so addicted to this awesome feeling when we get liked/followed/notified.   Are we all just getting abused (I had a stronger word in mind) by the paedophile that is the internet? I say Yes, and this might piss off many people who do not want to admit to it. Either way, many will find a way to get to the top. Whether this is the top of an internet search, or just the top of a pile of bodies to get ahead, is up to you. All I’m asking is to own up to it, and remain conscious. Happy Internetting.

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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