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Cheaters Club – Cape Town edition

No, this is not a clever play on words on the majestic fastest land mammal in the world. In fact, this type of cheater is not a rare breed or endangered by any means.

One of my Twitterers, Gunther Kriel suggested today on twitter that “there should be a website or blogsite listing all the assholes/cheaters in #CapeTown. Would be half the city if you ask me”.


Well of course this got me thinking!

What would this website entail? I imagine it to be a blog pretty much like this one. Members only though, like much of cliquey Cape Town. It would be a magical place where race, gender and sexuality don’t matter. All that counts is that everyone would be a cheater.

Now, this is not as simple as it sounds. You would have to do a thorough scour of the city’s depths and under depths for only the best to filter (feed) through. Obviously FaceBook and Twitter would be excellent sites to start the search, but only via DM (direct message) or inbox. Come on, people, these are the simple basics. Do keep up! Nothing can be out in the open here.

Ok, next step, the rules.  You may only chat to someone if you are in a relationship. What?! I’m just checking, you could be new to this! Now that that is out of the way, go forth young one. Explore. Browse the archives and find your ideal meeting point.

Whether train stations are your port of entry or maybe you prefer finding your victims at your place of work, somewhere else maybe, just be discreet about it. Clubs are also still popular meeting points. Dark with deceptively flashing lights and the inebriated witnesses. We can’t have others finding out about our secret society, now can we?!

We need a name though. Union of Conning Taciturnity? No, not catchy enough. After all, there will be catching of all sorts happening. The Mutual Decepticons?

Damn this is harder than I thought. Cheating is hard work. Telling one person something and another to another and then an other to another. And then you have to maintain your cover all the time while not blowing said cover.  I just broke a sweat thinking about it!

Especially in Cape Town with so few paces to meet people, how are we expected to meet multiple people?! So as soon as we get our hands out of the cookie jars, this site will be the perfect initiative. In fact, we have our rights. We deserve a space where others can know who their compatriots are.

Take your hats off to them, comrades. Especially if they wear hats, seeing as they have to wear so many of them. It’s an amicable profession. Cheaters of the Cape, UNITE!


<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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