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My Female Celebrity Obsession…

…with strength. Didn’t see that one coming, did you?

This was a separate post, but I decided to use it as the follow up to the one about Rihanna I posted a few days ago.

I’m a sucker for celebrity. I won’t even pretend to not care when a star gets a DUI or marries some loser has a baby. I go mad for it and all the education in the world will never change that.

This post however is something that had me thinking about my favourite female stars that have inspired me recently.  Relationships are also a particular point of interest for me.

What is betrayal? I guess this is up to the couple to define, however I think it should go by feel. If it feels wrong, get out. Oprah says, when a man shows you his true colours, believe him. If he moves on with hast while you are on a break, or even a break up, how real was it to begin with? Are you listening Chris Brown? I am coming for you.

A colleague told me that a few weeks is a drop in the bucket of relationships. And she must know what she is talking about as this is her field.

 

A few examples that spring to mind:

The good? : Cheryl (Cole) who dropped the “Cole” recently after she emerged from the cheating scandal with footballer husband Ashley Cole. We all know the story; it seems perfect until it goes bad.

How could anyone cheat on Cheryl?! She is gorgeous, talented and seems a genuinely nice lady. And then someone did. Of course we should not judge as we do not know the inner workings of a couple.

But whatever the track record, she is back with a new album and some scathing lyrics.

In her single “Screw You” off her latest album, she sings

“I love you so much but you never gave a fuck, so screw you / I can still remember our first date, never thought I would scream I hate ya.”

This is known as an oopsie-woopsie-poopsie moment and should make all men cower in fear.

You grow girl!!

The bad? : Rihanna, again, we should not judge what we do not have knowledge of, but come on!

Now I am definitely not one to speak, but this cannot be good. I’m on the fence with regards to celebs being role models, but surely they must be aware that their actions will have consequences. After the last post and the attitudes of people, especially women and girls regarding this incident, is it wise for Rihanna to go back to Chris Brown? Even as friends?

I’m still torn as to whether these people should be held up as role models for young people. A conversation with a die-hard Rihanna fan, he told me that she is only human. But what about choice? They chose to be celebs and have people idolise them.  This friend of mine made the great point that the parents should serve as mediators and not blame celebs when things go bad. [Thank you Vernoodle!]

If not for herself and her own self-esteem, surely for the many fans who worship her and look for a positive influence.

The inbetweener? : Victoria Beckham how soon we forget. Remember a certain Miss Rebecca Loos?

Yes, that’s right, with David and Victoria being such shining examples, it is easy to forget that he cheated on Victoria with this lady.

This brings to mind the idea of complicities. ONCE AGAIN, we, especially not me, can in no way judge. They are all human after all, if on a global scale. This incident just happened to fit this blog. Was she naïve for forgiving him and taking him back?

Would she not forever wonder where his eye was when she is not around? He seems to have been good, or discreet since. Who knows how these things work.

It’s like the old saying goes, to each their ho, I mean, own.

 

So, like Oprah says, do not ignore the whispers. They become shouts and then you cannot ignore them. Never let it get too far. Also be grateful that you are not a celeb, although if you were, you would have been the subject of a prestigious jawonthefloor mention.

If anything, and if you are going to be obsessed with celebrity, at least draw on the strength, tenacity and humanity that many of them display.

 

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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Chauvinist or Realist? (Did she deserve it?)

I finally got the nerve to post this one. Read a previous post for another point of view on my issues with the sexes: https://jawonthefloor.wordpress.com/2012/03/17/vagina-vs-the-world-aluta-a-labia/

This post will have a similar follow-up.

***

So I’m about to be real controversial now, but I have a question that I need to ask. This came up in various conversations with friends. I’m mostly neutral on the subject and tend to listen and observe more than participate in these discussions.

Does a woman deserve to be beaten?

Let me explain.

Firstly, I use “woman” as the prevalence of female abuse is higher and more publicised than the inverse. Going into other dynamics (male abuse, gay couples, etc.) could go on forever, so this is the example I use for now.

We’ve all heard about this issue. Tina Turner became the poster child for it in my consciousness, until Rihanna replaced her as the new “it” girl of publicised abuse (this is debatable to some who would say Whitney was also up there)

Now my answer to the above question is NO, of course not. Obviously not! How dare I ask such a question?!

But after the Rihanna incident (Chris Brown beat her in his car before the 2009 Grammy awards resulting in their cancellation at the ceremony and charges being laid against him) many differed. Many FEMALES differed.

I don’t want to focus specifically on Rihanna because this is such a broad issue. However, what struck me is how people react to these situations. Is it ever justified to ask, “But what did she do to make him do it?”

I do not have the answers.

I’ve been preaching female independence for as long as I can remember. This does not always make me popular amongst their male companions, but so be it. Because if they do hit you, you do not need to depend on anyone, so you can get out of it.

This is, of course, not as easy in lower socioeconomic conditions in which a female has to often depend on a man, or others. However (and this is where the questions come in) why do these women provoke men who they know will do these things to them?

Again, I feel a pain in my stomach that makes me feel uncomfortable asking that. But this is something which I have witnessed with a friend as a couple argued. A beautiful young lady who had a great career and was pregnant with this man’s child, kept pushing him until later on, he would hit her. The baby was fine, but if she didn’t leave, why did she keep provoking him with prompts which had proved to set him off?

Conversations with two separate friends surprised me as they had both, on different occasions and topics, gone against the traditional views. They had said that, yes there is no excuse for abuse, but what happened to make the men do that to them? What did Rihanna do in the car to Chris Brown to make him do that to her? Why not just dump him?

Why not just walk away? Why not stand up?

It’s a point I’ve made countless times. You need to stop needing people.

Ok, that was tough. But like I’ve said before, it’s a blog post and meant to stimulate debate and hopefully make a point in a few words.

I’d be interested in hearing thoughts.

 

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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