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Posts tagged ‘Life lessons’

On Friendship, Family and how to avoid loss

Everyone goes through heartbreak and betrayal, and whether you’re talking about a family member or a friend, it is essentially the same feeling. Even a death can seem to many as a betrayal. And in the case of a breakup, or a feud, when you just know that you have lost what you had with someone, you realise that there is no greater pain than losing someone who is still alive. (Although I respect the opinion that death is also a great loss to many)

This is my way to avoid this feeling, which is essentially a consolation. Think of a field – it could be football (American, or soccer) but the concept is the same. It is rectangle in shape with a half-way line. The line is the important part. Now think of yourself on one side, and the person on the other, except you are both on the same team. This might confuse people who are so geared towards society’s obsession with competition. On this field, however, you can only go as far as the middle line. The only point in which you are face to face is at the half-way line.

We all want the best for the people in our lives. In my case this translates to me being too pushy and driving them away. Dammit. But we can, and should, only go as far as the half-way line, and then be content with that.

The Messiah complex is absolutely detrimental to a relationship. You cannot save someone. It is as simple as that. I’ve always loved this quote from Kahlil Gibran, on children, who says:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

This, I believe, can be applied to relationships to all people in our lives.

I use something on Twitter that I call #ProbablyPlagiarised, although in this instance I know that I have heard various versions of this saying. Life is essentially a series of moments. People come in and out of our lives all the time. You holding on to a time that has passed is not being true to you current self, state and situation(s) and those around you with whom you are meant to be exchanging energies. .

If you think of your journey as a series of highways, with each of us inevitably intersecting at some point, would you not rather ride alongside others and arrive at your respective destinations safely, or would you want to crash? Unfortunately for many people, this analogy is all too real and the crash is sometimes quite literal.

Remember, you can’t save them. You shouldn’t have to. Their failure is not your failure. Give your love, then be content that you gave it. That’s all that you really can do.

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

Life Lessons from… Angry Birds?

What are some of the strangest places you’ve found a life lesson? They are there, waiting for us to open our eyes, minds and hearts to them. For me, it is two games that I’ve been playing on the tablet. In particular, Angry Birds and Subway Surf. They are real time killers, and super addictive in their simplicity. I doubt the creators meant for idiot bloggers to look for meaning in their creations, but… So be it.

You really do not need to have played these games – the general idea is there. But for those who absolutely want to know what they are about, it’s simple. Subway Surf is a guy running along, picking up coins as he goes. He has to dodge obstacles and there are daily challenges.

Angry Birds is a lot more popular, with its equally simple concept. You launch little birds, who are very angry-looking (get it?!), at pigs, and later monkeys, to destroy them for points. Play with extreme caution. I repeat, very addictive!


There they are.

You may not always get what you want, but life goes on regardless – Do the best with what you have. Some of the birds come with special abilities. The yellow ones can fly fast; the big beige one can drop an egg bomb and the parrots are weird and flappy. They are all useful and exceptional in their own ways, but you do not get to choose them. You’re given the hand you’re dealt and you have to make the most of it. Complaining about getting the wrong birds? Sure, go ahead. Let me know how that works for you.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter what tools you have, because you may not always need them – So with all the above abilities of the angry birds, it may seem as if you have everything you need, but sometimes that may not be the right thing for you. Just because you can drop that bomb does not always mean that you should. Crashing into the scaffolding with just the bird was enough and brought down the whole structure, destroying all the pigs (I swear you need to play the game to get it). Oftentimes we think that we need to have the best of everything to complete us, when in fact we need very little.

If you do something long enough, you will get the hang of it – I said something on Facebook that, I was told, was particularly insightful (if I do say so myself). It goes: “If fighting is all you ever know, it is all you will ever do”. Someone even suggested it was Hallmark card-worthy. That may have been pushing it, but whatever, I like it. Well, just as in life, where we repeat the same patterns over and over hoping for the best, we tend to miss the part where we are supposed to learn from repetition. Change it up, throw that bird towards the far end instead of the first pig, try something new.

And over at Subway Surfer…


Surfing trains was never this fun.

As monotonous as the journey may seem, there will be surprises, and rewards. Stay prepared – If you lose focus just because you’re bored or because it’s taking too much hard work and focus to be committed to the cause (I may be taking this game a little too seriously. Just a bit…). So I’m running along because I had spent all my coins on Mystery Boxes because it’s like a lucky draw – you never know what’s going to be inside – and I got bored. Guess what, losing focus made me pass a key. A key is like a free life. I was not obedient and I lost out. Luckily  the game, like a lot in life, is cyclical and it came back around and I got a second chance. How many of us get second chances and we waste it?

If you can’t get what you want, you could always buy your way in –  It’s true. You work hard for your money, so why not get to spend it? As long as it’s earned the honest way (and not bought via some cheating shortcut) then who is anyone to tell you otherwise?  But,

the reward will not be as sweet – I may as well have gone for the cliché  grand slam. However, it is true. One of the challenges was “to beat your own high score”, and because my score was something over 1,000,000, it was proving pretty darn difficult. But I forgot about it and stopped checking the score and playing to beat it. I just played and zoned out and had fun again. Boom! Score beaten.


<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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