Never let it be said that I am a hype whore, although my Fomo (a twitter based term that stands for “fear of missing out”) is practically debilitating.
That leads me to finally- FINALLY- reading Eat Pray Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert.
I love it so very much and I haven’t even got to the “Love” section yet. But something struck me as I read (and this is not the time for a Chris Brown joke! Ok, if you must…)
Elizabeth is speaking of a mantra which she says she repeats “700 times” a day, which goes “I will not harbor unhealthy thoughts anymore”. Now this stuck out for me because, as a conscious and enlightened individual (in training. Always in training!), I’m also human and struggle to stay in this state for long. So as I stole this mantra from Liz Gilbert on her journey, I re-realised the power of thoughts.
I tend to veer towards extremes, so when I’m happy, I’m HAPPY and when I’m sad… Well… It’s not pretty.
My new “thing”, or mantra is walking about and saying to myself “You, my dear, are a dynamic bitch and a hot piece of ass!” Try it, it works. And most importantly, it does not involve you diminishing others, or putting yourself in a superior position to others.
So I took it one step further and wrote a letter to one, and to many, to help myself “let go” (a phrase that came up later in the chapter, which I also struggle to do). But letting go, or forgiveness, is key. This again, however, should not be at the expense of others.
Now this is something I’ve harped on about before, but it made sense as Elizabeth spoke of her ex-husband and the ill-feelings between them. Let go, is the message.
But here’s what you need to do after you write your own letter. Visualise yourself reading it – so that’s you, the spirit you, with the “real” or physical, tangible you watching all this from your place of peace and soon-to-be forgiveness. It is what many describe as an out-of-body experience, but at your own willing. It does require a fair amount of inner stillness and setting aside your thoughts to reach this state.
So here’s my letter:
I’m sorry that I couldn’t be everything that you wanted me to be. I’m sorry that I was not sensitive to your plight and struggles. I could have been more empathetic to you. I’m sorry that I have changed, for the worse, and that my changes for the better were not in sync with you, but it’s what I needed to do. I’m sorry when I did not work hard enough. I could have done better, but at the time, it was the best that could have done. I hurt you, and for that I apologise.
I forgive you for hurting me. I forgive you for making it about you, when I also needed you. I forgive you for not seeing within me the kind person I safeguard for fear of being hurt. I forgive you for the things you have done, and sometimes continue to do. You did not know better.
And I forgive myself, because I deserve it.
<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>