I began this entry with my usual mix of scepticism and hope. I straddle the line between the two with equal fervour, and lean over to either side from time to time. I thought back to my high school days when my Grade 11 teacher Mrs Holzhausen gave us the task of making a small (A4 sized) poster about love. I, being the cheerful chap that I am, drew a big black heart and wrote “Love is… a cliché.” She did not like it.
I went back and regrouped and changed it to a beautiful split “screen” image with a man running from a heart and in the other side of the poster the heart caught him and little hearts emanated as the man rolled his eyes. That’s totally me! Accepting of it when it comes, yet still rolling my pessimistic eyes for all they are worth. The tag line was, for those not paying attention or not in advertising like I am, “Love is… a feeling you can’t escape.” Cue the “awwww” and me running away from all those cries. Hug me and I’ll stab you. With love, of course.
This made me think about the current state of my love life. Desolate wasteland. However I always seem to have a pinch of salt to add to every pot. So I want to share a little excerpt from a speech I made at my cousins wedding last year. I was the best man and had the obligatory duty of making that infamous speech. It was surprisingly decent.
I made it clear that I was nervous and that my shaking hands and croaky voice were all part of the spiel. I made a few stupid jokes to embarrass him (because at this point it became clear that this event was about my burgeoning comedy career). I told the audience that I had some key words of advice, because I, as many may know, am a relationship expert.
My main advice was that so often I see couples who give their lives over to a partner and lose themselves, and perspective. This is why a relationship, and particularly a marriage, should always be a convergence of two souls and never a conflation. Got that? Convergence, not conflation.
I made a few other stupid jokes about the woman always being right and that lies are a matter of definition. Also, an omission is as good as a lie. Are you listening all stereotypical men? Hey women, how about creating a safe environment for the guy to be honest? Ok now I’m just being mean. Let’s all strive for equality and respect?
I’ll conclude with my L’s for a successful relationship, besides Love.
Listen – actively, do it often, do it now, do it always. If you don’t, you will never…
Learn – about your partner, about yourself, about everything. Don’t let your love life be your life, or you will never…
Live – on your own and out loud. You will never be able to share your life with someone if you have never done so on your own, and even then, you independence must be maintained.
Larry King – because he’s been married like 18 times and who wants THAT?!
So that is my two cents on that hideous word beginning with “L”. If it didn’t make any sense, you are welcome to tell me. Just don’t hug me. That would be a cliché.
<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>