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Posts tagged ‘The Civil Wars’

When I turn my back

This post was sparked by the song Poison and Wine by The Civil Wars. The chorus goes “I don’t love you, but I always will” and was even featured on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

I concede that no one is perfect; there is no perfect relationship; everyone differs and we all have problems and issues. My problem is that moment when you know it’s right, but something feels wrong. Not wrong enough to leave, or even doubt your partner, but still a lingering feeling. I know, that doesn’t sound confusing at ALL.

In the song, the lyric goes “I wish you’d hold me when I turn my back” with a lingering affectation that I can’t accurately convey in words. The song is eerie and melancholic, and describes that exact moment I described above.  My questions then, are, How much can one person take? How much should they be expected to take? Is it fair to expect someone to hold you when you turn your back?

Having been on both sides of the scenario, I agree and disagree, proving that the situation is not as simple as black and white, or stay and go. So, is it really possible to feel love for someone and hurt them at the same time?

Yes, it is.


When I had drinks with a few colleagues, we were trying to decipher the problems of the world over lemonade and gin. I posed this scenario: if someone (the bad guy) comes at you and you throw sand in their face, or you would have been attacked, or worse, does that make you a bad person too? Someone said yes, because a good person would not have done that. The scenario was, of course, completely basic and reductive, but it did polarise my colleagues enough to provoke a reaction.

So just because you do not behave the same way in a relationship as you do in the beginning, yet are still in love, does that necessarily mean it should be held against you?

The type of relationship which I vehemently oppose does not sustain this idea. This is when two people are completely dependent on one another, and form one person, instead of a union of two individuals. Completely giving yourself over to the mercy of another is a romantic ideal, but not conducive to individual spiritual growth, which would hopefully lead to the growth of the union, in a healthy way.

I hope I have not lost all faith in romantic love, or the faith of my weary readers. I just hope that my lesson can be your lesson. Remember, don’t lose hope or faith, and learn whatever lessons there are to learn. They are there, waiting for you.  Always be there for others, and hold them when they turn their back. More importantly, be prepared for them to leave if you turn yours.


<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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