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Posts tagged ‘unconventional’


Whatever really does work?

So this blog has seem to become (dare I say evolve?) into my way of throwing thoughts and musings into the universe. Many questions don’t get answered and that is not always the point, regardless, it is important to keep the debate open.

An issue that has been heavy on my mind is that of relationships. This is such a strange concept to me. Always has been.

I am a Scorpion, nerd, passionate, thinker, over thinker, weirdo… An eternally interesting and catastrophic mix.

I straddle many lines and many people. 

So I’m always changing and considering ideas. And as someone who has always had an independent mind, relationships have been bizarre to me. But that strangeness has also been enticing. You see, and like I always tend to do, I’m pointing out the obvious but usually overlooked here, but you need someone else to have a relationship.


However, we don’t often think that this is the very thing that makes them so messed up. We are raised to be dependent, then the inverse as we are prepared to be pushed out of the nest and then we have to find someone who will eventually change our adult diapers. I can’t keep up. That other person is the invariable volatile factor that makes things difficult and yet so awesome.


I watched a film last year called Whatever Works by Woody Allen. It stars Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood. It is typical Woody, although more charming than his other work. Like a younger, modern Annie Hall. Although most, if not all of his films could be described as such.

The film itself may not blow you away, but the ideas might. I do not want to give too much away, because in a dialogue-driven film that is easy to do. So go on and watch it!

But what I do want to ask is why are we so bound by convention? This could, of course, be asked for most things in this world, but here I refer to relationships. Why do more people not convey their feelings? Because they live in fear! That wife may be as much into leather bondage as her husband is, but would never dream to tell him. What?! A good girl like me?!!

Sorry for making you look at your mother in a new way, but it had to be done.  

Why do people not have more sexual encounters that are adventurous? What is wrong with having an affair if it is open and communicated and mutual? (The correct term for that would probably be less “affair” and more “open marriage” but I am veering into new territory here.) Why do we limit ourselves in this way? Is it because in nature we see animals sticking with one partner for life? Is it because Jesus said so? As far as I know we are not Bethlehem Turtles.

I won’t go into my issues with religion and what the Bible dictates, in fact, those guys sure were not ones to speak. However, the question stands. Who are we to say that we are correct for condemning others for the way they choose to share their lives?

I’ve never considered much of what I mentioned. I am not condoning dishonesty, but that is what happened in the film, often with the characters with their own inner dialogue. The turn came when they realised that we do not need to be a certain way.

I think I would get jealous in a three way relationship, for example, but then again I wonder if that is just what was dictated to me by convention.

 If more of us were open and honest with ourselves first, and then our partners, many of the problems today in relationships/marriages would cease. And we could also see a drastically new and interesting world unfold before us. Alas.

<p>Author <a href=”https://plus.google.com/102128103971030481396” target=”blank” rel=”author”>Jerome Cornelius</a></p>

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